A Purpose Without A Plan

Everything seems less important
When I look at it the way in which you've described
No... nothings in order
Everything is just the same
But the way you've worded it has changed
My frame of mind
I look in front of me and there is confusion
A mere illusion of me ever being free
But unlike my mortal eyes my faith can see
All that God has in store for me
In the process of going through many spiritual test
My attitude becomes sour
Devouring every hope for God to make a way
I speak negativity into my heart with every word I say
With every form of worry and stress
I know within my heart that I have just failed another test
The songs that use to sooth my soul
Leave me feeling incomplete
Trying to be discrete in all my actions
Yet the world puts me on blast
I crumble under pressure
Not knowing how long this hurt will last.
But no matter how horrible my body feels
God I'll never leave your side
Because no matter how large my problems seem
You Lord are my redeemer.
God you've given me my purpose
Now I simply wait for You to command upon
My life Your plan!

By:Ja'Nise Washington

Urgh (The Best Title I could think of at the time)

Nothing can ail this undescribable feeling of need
Struggling to get what everyone claims
I need to succeed
I have no say so in this life I live
Thats not my own
Linched by the lack of encouragement
To strive for my own goals
To reach for the heights of the
Things that make my spirit whole
Even when my eyes are dry the tears
Are ever flowing
The dreams that once existed
The wind has blown away
And the faith so strong that was in me yesterday
Has now decreased
Unpleased with every result
That death seems more appealing than
The continual beating of my heart
Then everyone would have no choice
But to pick away at the lifeless me
And determine every way they'd like for me to look
And who they want for me to be
I stand still spinning in a circle of unconsistance
A circle of happiness, shame, victory, and defeat
When will I meet the day when I'm no longer
Standing in the desert
Shielding my face from the particles of sand
When will I cease to cry of pain
And cling to joy
I'm linched by the lack of encouragement
And drenched with fear and doubt
As everyone else sorts my life out at their own will
I follow their commands but somehow
I continue to stand still.