**The Sky**

I get to school just early enough to watch the sunrise. Parking in the same spot everyday toward the east portion of the burning pink sky. Such beauty never ceases to amaze me, God has created a flawless sky. And each day I watch the sun consume the clouds like fire. If only I could walk as far as the horizon and see its wonders magnified. I've always had a fascination with the sky, it is a very hard task for me to walk without throwing my head back to gaze at the clouds that silently watch my every move. In all seriousness, I struggle to walk like a normal person, I struggle to keep my head straight directly in front of me to watch where I'm going. In fact, if I could walk with my head pointed toward the sky all the time I would, because the sky to me resembles the oceans waves so very therapeutic and calming. Driving when the sun is setting is a difficult task for me as well. With everything within me I want to pull over on the bridge connecting I-94 and Southfield freeway and watch the sky transform. Even at night the sky puts on a show that the world often ignores; if no bugs existed I'd lay back on the grass at night and fall asleep watching hundreds of stars glisten above me. How close they seem, yet to far for my fingers to reach.
Simply watching the clouds swiftly float through the sky as if an invisible hand is pushing them makes me smile. It makes me wish that I could sit on its fluffy surface, then when the day is done sink through its fogginess like a raindrop back down to the ground where it first found me watching.

by:~Ja'Nise W.~

Friendship

As we sit at opposite ends of the world
I wonder whether our thoughts coincide into one complete sentence
If we saw each other right now would our eyes connect
Or would I be the girl in his hindsight...
One that he could easily forget
I don't search for marriage, I do not even seek love.
I don't want what everyone has
I want what most refuse to get....friendship
I don't know who you are
Honestly, I can hardly define me
I won't sing that lame line that repeats itself
In multiple love songs claiming that you complete me
Still, I find myself thinking of you
A person I don't even know
You are like my own personal foreign land
I'd travel so far to be with you, although I have no idea who you are
All I know, all I feel is that you will not reject me
We'll grow into the deepest friendship
And sail the waves of laughter
We'll know one another so well, that forever we will
Want to dwell in each others company.
If we saw each other right now would he feel the same
Or do I make up fantasies to comfort loneliness
Create false friendships to bury pain?!

by:Ja'Nise Washington Orginally written 10/7/2009

♥ ~ My Siblings – A Note from the Little Sister’s Point of View ♥ ~

Family is the sweetest thing to me, and lately I’ve wanted so badly to go back a few years when things were different; back when physically we had so little but spiritually we had so much! I have to say that I would not change the family I am in for another, no matter what great deals I may be offered :). And sometimes I hate that little things mean so much to me, little things make me so happy yet vice versa the smallest hurtful word make me feel as if I am nothing. I am the youngest in my immediate family. I have the greatest brothers; brothers of two different worlds with their own special talents and gifts. My sister of course is quite wonderful as well! When I was younger I wanted to be like her so badly, of course I never voiced this admiration. She would always sing, I liked to sing to but I never did because her voice was so great I wanted mines to be the same! I remember one Sunday she sang a special at church and each note was just right. Yet it wasn’t her voice alone, it wasn’t just this great talent that formed tears in my cousin David’s (and others) eyes as she sang, it was the anointing behind the voice; it was the spirit of God that moved when she sang because of God’s great anointing. I remember when I was barely a teenager, church wasn’t really my thing I went because I had to go. So of course praying at home on my own was nothing I would do besides saying my prayers. Ja’Nell and I shared a room and I remember walking in one night wanting to go to sleep and she was praying, crying and LOUD with her radio going in the background lol. I just closed the door and went back down the stairs. Yet each prayer I remember seeing my siblings pray I’m sure I’ve never quite understood how that influenced my life so much, how it changed me to want to know this spirit they felt. Now, when James begins to worship, it’s like I can’t pray because I’m amazed at how high he can jump, I’ll never forget the Sunday when he almost knocked over the pulpit lol it was almost like watching a lose bull buck back and forth. James is a “macho man” and one with a sensitive heart. One day I was trying to play with him (like little sisters do lol ) and he yelled at me so badly, then he came back later and said sorry..... he was just really hungry =). Of course he didn’t have to say sorry, he could have thought oh she understands but he said it anyways and that I admire greatly even today! Except for my 1st eldest brothers big cheeks and large eyes I am very much a mirror image of him lol besides the fact that I am a girl! My other brother and sister definitely protect me and stay with me if I am afraid, and Jeff (1 bro) would to. Yet I also see him as a comforter, like if I really had to tell him something of importance that I wanted no one else to know about I could rely upon him. His prayers I’ve always just viewed as powerful, like he could so easily have faith and believe in anything he wanted God could do! To this day he can turn the worst of situations into a joke, he makes me laugh even if I don’t want to, I don’t know how he does it but it’s a wonderful gift.
I could write forever and I so badly want to about each memory that lives vividly inside of my mind. My cousins were just like more brothers and sisters to me then, we were always together. We played together, cried, laughed, got beat by our parents together, but most of all we prayed together; and that prayer was most powerful, and most effective. Now that we are all a little older I wished I would have cherished each moment just more so than I had. Just as the word “love” cannot fully be explained, the word “family” cannot be fully described either. As the youngest, it seems as if I am a mixture of each of my older siblings, no matter how much I want to be an “unique individual” I’ve watched them, observed the qualities that were most important and utilized what they taught me unknowingly.

The Perfect Song

Lord, if I could write You the perfect song
I would
I would string together chords of flawless notes
And sing aloud the purest of words without mistake
Lord how my heart does ache to love You doubtlessly
To strike the right piano key that will grab all of your attention
I yearn to be filled with your anointing,
To be full of a new kind of joy that even the wisest of men could not explain
I wish to refrain from idle thinking
And form for God a song that plays a beat no different from the rhythm of my heart
For I want to love You without distraction
Lord create for me the perfect song to play
One that calms spirits without delay
Help me to gather words that usually escape
Help me to reshape the love I've built for me to structure it for You
Lord write the perfect song and teach to me the words
Let it's melody play within my mind
Defining a love that I could never know without You
Lord I ache to love You doubtlessly
To sing the purest song void of mistake
God sing the only perfect love song that will never disappear.
It Will be created by You, a melody so sincere
Formed by a God whose love will always persevere.

by:Ja'Nise Washington

~!Breaking Down!~

Some women find nothing worse than driving a car that breaks down. They may spend their nights asking the Lord Jesus Christ to bless them with the newest Town and Country knowing good and well that God would have to work a miracle greater than Parting the Red Sea for that prayer to become reality. Yet I love and admire women with such great faith. Right now my vehicle is very unpredictable, one moment everything is fine. The next my car is jerking and shaking so badly it feels as if I'm riding in one of those old wooden roller coasters at Cedar Point. But breaking down for me isn't all that horrible. My last breakdown one would image to be the worst of them all. I was on I-75 heading over the bridge over to I-96. Every warning light in my car flashed like Christmas lights as I pushed my poor baby across all four lanes of I-96 cutting off a semi in the process. POP! I heard the engine give up as a cloud of black smoke polluted the air. At first I wanted to be angry especially since I had a final the next day. Now I was stuck on the freeway with no books so I couldn't even study. Secondly, I had to figure out how I'd get to school the next day to take the final!
But I dismissed my fears and began to comfort myself with a box of chewy candies. I opened my passenger side door and closed my eyes. I suddenly realized that sitting on the side of the freeway was much like being at the beach. I discovered that the sound on each car swooshing by was like the oceans waves crashing against rocks emitting a cool breeze that made whispers of my air fly up. Only this beach had no sand and had no water, about the only thing it had WAS rocks mixed with glass and other debris that the shoulder of I-96 held. I suddenly thought I totally rather break down on the freeway than on a street with merely two lanes. I have my reasons... one the freeway has 4 whole lanes if I break down in one of them traffic can still keep moving at regular speed in the other 3. The street doesn't permit such freedom nor space. Number two the street in no way resembles the beach . Do I enjoy breaking down? Not at all. But does it make me angry?? NOPE! My car suddenly stopping is the only spontaneous thing that happens in my life. It causes a rush of adrenaline not knowing if I'll make it to the side of the road in time or simply sit in the middle of I-96 waiting like a damsel in distress for my handsome prince to come and rescue me. (joke more like Deedee's AAA) I love my Ford Focus but I'm afraid it's just like everything else in my life inconsistent and unreliable.

by: Ja'Nise Washington

Nightmares vs. Reality *(contin. of living in the ghetto)

Last night it seems as if my life was a suspense movie waiting to unfold. Already I had a less than wonderful day. All I sought was rest and comfort in the silence of being home alone. I was granted no such thing, the day continually worsened as the sun gave way to the moon's existence and slowly faded out of sight. The monsters of the ghetto began to swarm out like vampires, unseen and unheard yet definitely real! I put on my pajama's and uttered a prayer that should have lasted longer but when I closed my eyes I'd drift off into the lightest sleep, my bed room lamp still burned bright because for some reason I did not feel at ease with the darkness. I was soon about to cut the light off and dismiss such ill begotten fears; to just sleep- when my phone rings. The bells chime and without looking at my caller ID I know it's my sister. She tells me that some guy tried to climb into a window located at the back of her house; luckily her tiny little dog Cola has the bark of a beast and the police happened to be in the neighborhood, they responded to the dogs cries and saw the villain. He escaped still and that only intensified my uncertainties seeing that my sister only lives about 5 minutes away from us. Every creek in my house caused me to question if I was truly alone. My sister and I hung up and despite being apprehensive I settled down in my bed and closed my eyes..... nearly 10 to 20 mintues later their is a loud banging at my door. BOOM BOOM BOOM. The knocks came rapidly one after the other! Instantly my body began to tremble gosh who could be here at such a late hour? I glanced out my front window to see one police officer sporting a bullet proof vest. I go open my front door and they say, " You called us do you still need our assistance?" Of course I had not called 911 and I thought oh Lord could this be some type of prophecy lol DO I need their assistance??
After I closed the door I was a bit shaken up. I enjoyed being home alone but now my "home" is just beginning to feel like a house sitting on land. It isn't a place where I feel safe, it's just a roof, doors and windows. All I can do is ask God to protect me (along with my brothers .38 caliber) lol jk Let his angels march around my house like it's "The Battle of Jericho" :) In my eyes I'm a tough cookie, yet yesterday I felt like a small frightened child. It wasn't until my sister came over, sleeping in the next room that I could finally close my eyes peacefully.
She was nearest to the door, whomever should come in would get her before me ... lol

~The night does nothing but safely hide the villains that camouflage themselves like chameleon's during the day!~
by:Ja'Nise Washington

Beware....Deadly Epidemic!

I am no master in the field of epidemiology but it looks to me as if every corner I turn, every person I happen to run into, my very own family memebers are either one getting married or two pregnant. I have no problem with these two things personally, I'm not jealous or envious in anyway, I'm just curious and find it coincidental how so many people fall in love at the same time. Is everyone really falling head over hills want to marry you now love or is it simply the "popular" thing to do? I have yet to find out the answer to such a queston, I'm not sure if one actually exist. LoVe is a word that is nowadays thrown around so easily, the need to get married has grown greater than the need to search for a job, greater than the need for husbands to figure out how they will support there wives (or vise versa in some cases). I also wonder whether the mad epidemic has anything to do with mere physical attraction moreso than actual "love." See in those romance movies like the famous "Sleepless in Seattle" or the very funny "Brown Sugar" only the good lovely dovey, lustful actions without consequence portion of so called love is shown. But when all the I do's have been said and done, and the picture has been taken and framed, real life as well as real problems begin. Now me, I'm subborn sometimes stuck in my ways thinking that oh if I shall ever have the privledge of falling in love an argument shall never arise between my husband and I. Yet I laugh in my head knowing all is untrue, and I weigh the importance of such a decision, of knowing its no longer just me, it is two hearts, two minds, united, tied together for eternity. This "love/pregnancy" disease symptoms include excessive crying (because of happiness if getting married b/c of weird hormones if pregnant), nightmares of everything that could go wrong during the wedding (which my sister has often), feeling full but still wanting to eat (pregnant), or finding yourself smiling for absolutely no reason at all!! If you are experiencing such symptoms I suggest you one see a doctor immediately and start looking for maternity clothing or two hope that your boyfriend is on the same level because you are so ready to get married..... join the crowd you have now to caught one of the two of these incurable, speading like a wildfire at Yellowstone Park epidemics.Congratulations~!

By : Ja'Nise Washington ~~ Right now I have no need to fall in love, I'd rather fall in a bowl of chocolate~~

My Drive Through the Foreign Fields of Ann Arbor

Although I should be sleep at this very hour, do to the fact that I have a 4 hour math class in the morning I have yet chosen to write another note. In fear that I will forget and utterly important part of the story I must write tonight lol. Well, I was suppose to leave my house at 5:30 but for perhaps the second time in my life I was running alittle late and didn't step into my 2001 royal blue Ford Focus until 6 pm. My drive began perfectly (probably because I knew where I was at). It wasn't until I finally reached Plymouth Rd where all my troubles began.OR perhaps even before then!!! Handy Dandy mapquest didn't predict the right number of miles so of course it took me forever to find Plymouth Road, right when I was about to give up and go home there was the road I said thank you Jesus as if this were the end of my problems. I immediately despised the fact that plymouth was only ONE LANE and boy do people like to speed in their top notch fancy cars (yes I'm doing alittle hating) nevertheless I traveled what seems to be like forever flying down this street with so many twists and turns searching for my next street!! I finally pull over on the side of this one lane rd to let the speeders go by so I can drive in peace. SO i finally find my next street a make a right turn in my mind i'm thinking oh i'm doing good almost there!!!!!!!!! But I travel only perhaps one mile to find some kind of parade going on (which I drive through) and my road is blocked YES BLOCKed I'm in the middle of ann Arbor neighborhoods with no clue where I am so i just follow the car in front of me and amazingly (wanting to go home AGAIN i figure If I turn around now i'll be just as lost) the next street I'm looking for pops up (ANOTHER THANK U JESUS) I scream in my car in the process I run two red lights because i'm nervous but all the people are nice enough to give me dirty looks instead of hunk! Again I travel down this longggggggggggggggggggg street Ann Arbor Rd or something .... i mean the street is too long I notice that their isn't not one street light and glady thank God that it isn't dark! Anyway in the course of driving all street signs disappear to my right rows and rows of corn and to my left some weird small animals eating grass, I had the worst feeling that perhaps I'd never find my way to church or back home thank God I had a tank full of gas!!! Anyway I went through construction pass pastures and mansions. Just to end up and another Rd block, a road that I once again I needed to get to Solid Rock Apostolic Church I looked to my left and saw a sign that read DETROIT that wasn't the church but I was so happy because any sign that read DETROITmeant that I could go home. Instead I went straight dialed my moms number and told her I'm coming home (about to cry really wanted to go to church) Amazingly my mother remembered How tO get to the church so i did a u-turn which by the way I was on the wrong side of the street and finally got HUNKED at!! Yes I reached church just in time actually it was 7:35 but they hadn't even begun to sing yet.... Throughout the course of the service I was thinking gosh I'm going to have to sleep in my car and miss class tomorrow no way I can make it home the moon isn't bright enough for me to see these streets. At the end of service I prayed, and Prayed somemore and when I opened my eyes I thought maybe my brain was inventing a person I actually knew. I took off my glasses squinted then put them back, I still kept staring at this person like no impossible couldn't be. I out of the ordinary, walked over and OMG it was Josiah ??? What yes, I was so excited to see a familiar face no not because I was lonely.... now I wouldn't have to sleep in my car after all !!! God definitely answers prayers God's moon light with the help of Josiah's tail lights led me safetly home!!!! I hope you got all of that there will be more to come for adventures with Ja'Nise Traveling alone to far away places with no street lights! Goodnight and GOd Bless!

~*Crazy, Crazy & Crazier*~

Feeling half way alone in this journey we call "life" some days I want nothing more than to throw myself over the edge of a steep curb in hopes that it will land me some place other than where I am! Today I want nothing more than to bury myself under loads of fluffy pillows and pretend as if no form of technology that one communicates with exists. I want to block society out of my mind and revert back to the moments when I was to small to think or speak. All I could do was observe nothing was right or wrong it just......was. Right now I am so aloof that I can't even state the purpose of this blog. Its just a string of random thoughts interconnected with some emotion that can't quite be explained because I'm not to sure how I'm feeling at the moment just...... extremely tired!! I have no clue why I find it necessary to write pages full of words that may have no meaning to a cyber world that doesn't care one way or another whether may days are full of happiness, or something less than happiness. I guess it just comes down to saying there is always something to complain about, man is never satisfied. IF only I could get to the place to say I'm content, to feel content even when things are the worst. I'll know that I have grown in the things of God when I can say, that I am "content!!" Right now I'm simply standing still waiting for some wind strong enough to come blow me in the right direction!

"Faith Can See What the Eyes Cannot."by:Ja'Nise W.

Dating Amongst Young Adults

Although now twenty, I have yet to find myself engulfed in romance. I have never been in a relationship nor on a date. Although the world may consider my view of dating as oddly outlandish or completely ridiculous I find it to be quite rationally logical in everyway. I think it to be totally insane to hop from one girl/guy to the next whether it be the excuse of looking for a husband/wife or just wanting to have "fun" (with peoples emotions unintentionally). Dating has become so overated in the 21st century. I have to ask myself what exactly is a girlfriend/boyfriend, I mean if I were to be in a relationship what is the role I would play; especially if it is a blind relationship (which I will soon define for you.) The question I still can find no answer to today is.... how will a series of short term relationships define, help, or enhance the one relationship that matters most MARRIAGE? No wonder why the divorce rate is so high in America because after 2 months husbands are bored with their wives. . or vise versa. Am I bashing those who have gone through divorce absolutely not, i'm bashing the word "dating" or rather how many people define the term. Sure being Apostolic may have alot to do with how I view the term but in my eyes we are the very ones abusing it most (speaking more to my generation of youngsters more so than anyone else) Is God not suppose to be about every decision that we make? Yet when it comes to this I guess we are free to go with what we "feel" rather than asking for direction! I guess this would be a good time to pause and define "Blind Relationships" a blind relationship is two people or it could be just one person within the relationship with no intention or no purpose of knowing this girl/guy for a reason; they're just a phase.. she/he definitely is not marriage material in there eyes. She is just what he wants for the moment (or vise versa) then he'll move on once he finds a "prettier" phase!

I am always posed with this question when I explain my take on dating.... Well how will you ever find someone to marry if you never date?

Well DUHHH can't it be that hard of a question!?!? :) Number one I will never date some random guy just because............ My husband if I ever shall have one will first be my friend,, then my best friend, then...... most likely if we like each other the dates will began to see if their is meant to be more. But the dates will began with a purpose, their will be a point and we will be on the same page. NOO every relationship doesn't have to be this way of course and I'm sure if he is not the one I'll date someone else but the POINT I'm trying to emphasize is dating shouldn't be randomly sharing your heart and emotions with someone just because. That is a waste of time, and emotion that could have been avoided. There are times in our lives where God wants us to be single.... so we can focus on loving him with our WHOLE entire heart, being single (is hard i know lol) is a lovely gift but so many don't realize it, nor take advantage of it!!

~~$The Ghetto$~~

I must admit today out of all day's I despise living in the heart of this ghetto community we have named Detroit :P oh sure many of you facebookers may disagree with me but perhaps if you were sitting here now or rather about 10 minutes ago in the midst of the screaming you to would be writing a facebook note in hopes that all the ghetto people in the world would suddenly transform from your words of wisdom. Nonetheless, I don't even know where to begin or how! I'm sitting in my room trying to study; when shouting erupts from outside my window at first I blocked it out thinking for some odd reason that people were just playing around! But the profanity only got louder and then I realized perhaps this wasn't a game?!?! I glanced out the window to see a woman well over her teenage years (it appeared) to be swinging a pole over her head yelling SCREAMING sHoutINg at another young (or old) woman to , "Take her crazy pills before she gets arrested!" SUddenly, I realized these kinds of events make me embarrassed for my culture! Am I saying I hate being "BLACK" oh absolutely not lol I'm saying I hate that black is so closely associated with violence and hate! I mean come on now its so true , In school if another black person "Usually" a girl walks in seems like the first thing she does is grim me............ What normal human being does that??! ANYWAY, I began to think how I miss our quiet little townhouse (outside of Detroit). Okay to get back on track, the other woman (without the pole) whom I couldnt see suddenly appears with a gas can THAT'S RIGHT a gas can a matches ....... I couldn't believe what she did. SHe set the other womans grass on fire.. !! Of course she ran after that so she wouldn't get beat with a pole but besides that fact, people don't act like people they act like animals around here! I am so glad that winter is nearing that's when all the "BLACk bears" go in for hiberation. That's the time when the ghetto is actually a happy place to live.(lol )That's when I actually sit on the porch as if it were summertime drinking in the sight of the ghetto's of Detroit holding the beauty of silence. OH and I just learned more from the ghetto woman the gas can....... she was in our garage ... my mom and dad were doing the yard today ! My dad walks into the garage and tells her to get out SHE cuts HIM with a little knife!!! Will I ever invite anyone to my house when its not winter time.. umm i'm not sure I would hate for them to see a live shooting of "Cops" on my time... BTW the cops arrived after the entire event which lasted alittle over an hour umm perfect timing Detroit Police! Perhaps God has placed us here for a reason...... I'm no Ghandi but I sure do hope my prayers bring peace! The bible's new form of living in the wilderness should be living in the ghetto you have got to learn to survive! lol ~Ja'Nise~