~~Waiting~~

Sometimes it's so hard to be patient
Hard to wait
To take on the weight of not only your tribulations
But the tribulations of others as well
Every tear, a spear that pierces the depth of your soul.
Many times I yearn for what other people have
But not really, I want something, someone so much better
Seems like lately I've been so willing to settle for less
Just because they're there
Just because they make me smile for no reason
Yet I know if something were to transpire
My mind would change
And what I wanted, what I rushed
Would cause even more damage and pain
So right now my mind wants more than my heart can handle
Right now I'm stuck in between standing still or moving to fast
Knowing that the fraction of happiness that I attain by not listening
Is not one meant to last.
So tell me Lord... when will You speak Your words to me
When will I receive the desires of my heart
Or when will my old desires be replaced by new ones
I'll wait, I'll wait, I'll wait patiently in good spirits
No matter the length
Even if my body aches for something new.
I'll wait on You!

by:Ja'Nise Washington

~~Speaking Silently~~

So badly I want to change
Yet unfortunately I don’t know how
To continually hide
Feelings that my eyes proclaim so loudly
I’ve prayed night after night
My mind fighting thoughts my heart steadily produces
I wish that I could pin point the day that such feelings were born
So that I could abort them immediately
Speedily run away from words that never should have formed
Into long paragraphs
I remember the look within your eyes
The look in which the meaning I still try to decipher
The look in your eyes made my heart pound
It made the world around me disappear, that constant minute in a half stare
I still cannot determine if this was just a game
Or if something was really there, because now every time we speak
There’s a constant tension that fills the air
As if we are both speaking but not saying the words we really want to say
Afraid that either person may just...walk away
I yearn to be near you more than I’ve ever yearned to be around anyone
I want all of your attention, I wish to know that you think of me the way I think of you
I want to know the truth of how you feel for me
So I can allow these already out of control feelings grow
Or simply cry and force myself to let them go
Help me know, help me either be bound by your words
Or freed by them
Please just show me the truth of what we are
Of what you will ever allow for us to be
Because the silence of the mist of our speech is killing me.

~Ja’Nise Washington