Family is the sweetest thing to me, and lately I’ve wanted so badly to go back a few years when things were different; back when physically we had so little but spiritually we had so much! I have to say that I would not change the family I am in for another, no matter what great deals I may be offered :). And sometimes I hate that little things mean so much to me, little things make me so happy yet vice versa the smallest hurtful word make me feel as if I am nothing. I am the youngest in my immediate family. I have the greatest brothers; brothers of two different worlds with their own special talents and gifts. My sister of course is quite wonderful as well! When I was younger I wanted to be like her so badly, of course I never voiced this admiration. She would always sing, I liked to sing to but I never did because her voice was so great I wanted mines to be the same! I remember one Sunday she sang a special at church and each note was just right. Yet it wasn’t her voice alone, it wasn’t just this great talent that formed tears in my cousin David’s (and others) eyes as she sang, it was the anointing behind the voice; it was the spirit of God that moved when she sang because of God’s great anointing. I remember when I was barely a teenager, church wasn’t really my thing I went because I had to go. So of course praying at home on my own was nothing I would do besides saying my prayers. Ja’Nell and I shared a room and I remember walking in one night wanting to go to sleep and she was praying, crying and LOUD with her radio going in the background lol. I just closed the door and went back down the stairs. Yet each prayer I remember seeing my siblings pray I’m sure I’ve never quite understood how that influenced my life so much, how it changed me to want to know this spirit they felt. Now, when James begins to worship, it’s like I can’t pray because I’m amazed at how high he can jump, I’ll never forget the Sunday when he almost knocked over the pulpit lol it was almost like watching a lose bull buck back and forth. James is a “macho man” and one with a sensitive heart. One day I was trying to play with him (like little sisters do lol ) and he yelled at me so badly, then he came back later and said sorry..... he was just really hungry =). Of course he didn’t have to say sorry, he could have thought oh she understands but he said it anyways and that I admire greatly even today! Except for my 1st eldest brothers big cheeks and large eyes I am very much a mirror image of him lol besides the fact that I am a girl! My other brother and sister definitely protect me and stay with me if I am afraid, and Jeff (1 bro) would to. Yet I also see him as a comforter, like if I really had to tell him something of importance that I wanted no one else to know about I could rely upon him. His prayers I’ve always just viewed as powerful, like he could so easily have faith and believe in anything he wanted God could do! To this day he can turn the worst of situations into a joke, he makes me laugh even if I don’t want to, I don’t know how he does it but it’s a wonderful gift.
I could write forever and I so badly want to about each memory that lives vividly inside of my mind. My cousins were just like more brothers and sisters to me then, we were always together. We played together, cried, laughed, got beat by our parents together, but most of all we prayed together; and that prayer was most powerful, and most effective. Now that we are all a little older I wished I would have cherished each moment just more so than I had. Just as the word “love” cannot fully be explained, the word “family” cannot be fully described either. As the youngest, it seems as if I am a mixture of each of my older siblings, no matter how much I want to be an “unique individual” I’ve watched them, observed the qualities that were most important and utilized what they taught me unknowingly.
