**The Sky**

I get to school just early enough to watch the sunrise. Parking in the same spot everyday toward the east portion of the burning pink sky. Such beauty never ceases to amaze me, God has created a flawless sky. And each day I watch the sun consume the clouds like fire. If only I could walk as far as the horizon and see its wonders magnified. I've always had a fascination with the sky, it is a very hard task for me to walk without throwing my head back to gaze at the clouds that silently watch my every move. In all seriousness, I struggle to walk like a normal person, I struggle to keep my head straight directly in front of me to watch where I'm going. In fact, if I could walk with my head pointed toward the sky all the time I would, because the sky to me resembles the oceans waves so very therapeutic and calming. Driving when the sun is setting is a difficult task for me as well. With everything within me I want to pull over on the bridge connecting I-94 and Southfield freeway and watch the sky transform. Even at night the sky puts on a show that the world often ignores; if no bugs existed I'd lay back on the grass at night and fall asleep watching hundreds of stars glisten above me. How close they seem, yet to far for my fingers to reach.
Simply watching the clouds swiftly float through the sky as if an invisible hand is pushing them makes me smile. It makes me wish that I could sit on its fluffy surface, then when the day is done sink through its fogginess like a raindrop back down to the ground where it first found me watching.

by:~Ja'Nise W.~

Friendship

As we sit at opposite ends of the world
I wonder whether our thoughts coincide into one complete sentence
If we saw each other right now would our eyes connect
Or would I be the girl in his hindsight...
One that he could easily forget
I don't search for marriage, I do not even seek love.
I don't want what everyone has
I want what most refuse to get....friendship
I don't know who you are
Honestly, I can hardly define me
I won't sing that lame line that repeats itself
In multiple love songs claiming that you complete me
Still, I find myself thinking of you
A person I don't even know
You are like my own personal foreign land
I'd travel so far to be with you, although I have no idea who you are
All I know, all I feel is that you will not reject me
We'll grow into the deepest friendship
And sail the waves of laughter
We'll know one another so well, that forever we will
Want to dwell in each others company.
If we saw each other right now would he feel the same
Or do I make up fantasies to comfort loneliness
Create false friendships to bury pain?!

by:Ja'Nise Washington Orginally written 10/7/2009

♥ ~ My Siblings – A Note from the Little Sister’s Point of View ♥ ~

Family is the sweetest thing to me, and lately I’ve wanted so badly to go back a few years when things were different; back when physically we had so little but spiritually we had so much! I have to say that I would not change the family I am in for another, no matter what great deals I may be offered :). And sometimes I hate that little things mean so much to me, little things make me so happy yet vice versa the smallest hurtful word make me feel as if I am nothing. I am the youngest in my immediate family. I have the greatest brothers; brothers of two different worlds with their own special talents and gifts. My sister of course is quite wonderful as well! When I was younger I wanted to be like her so badly, of course I never voiced this admiration. She would always sing, I liked to sing to but I never did because her voice was so great I wanted mines to be the same! I remember one Sunday she sang a special at church and each note was just right. Yet it wasn’t her voice alone, it wasn’t just this great talent that formed tears in my cousin David’s (and others) eyes as she sang, it was the anointing behind the voice; it was the spirit of God that moved when she sang because of God’s great anointing. I remember when I was barely a teenager, church wasn’t really my thing I went because I had to go. So of course praying at home on my own was nothing I would do besides saying my prayers. Ja’Nell and I shared a room and I remember walking in one night wanting to go to sleep and she was praying, crying and LOUD with her radio going in the background lol. I just closed the door and went back down the stairs. Yet each prayer I remember seeing my siblings pray I’m sure I’ve never quite understood how that influenced my life so much, how it changed me to want to know this spirit they felt. Now, when James begins to worship, it’s like I can’t pray because I’m amazed at how high he can jump, I’ll never forget the Sunday when he almost knocked over the pulpit lol it was almost like watching a lose bull buck back and forth. James is a “macho man” and one with a sensitive heart. One day I was trying to play with him (like little sisters do lol ) and he yelled at me so badly, then he came back later and said sorry..... he was just really hungry =). Of course he didn’t have to say sorry, he could have thought oh she understands but he said it anyways and that I admire greatly even today! Except for my 1st eldest brothers big cheeks and large eyes I am very much a mirror image of him lol besides the fact that I am a girl! My other brother and sister definitely protect me and stay with me if I am afraid, and Jeff (1 bro) would to. Yet I also see him as a comforter, like if I really had to tell him something of importance that I wanted no one else to know about I could rely upon him. His prayers I’ve always just viewed as powerful, like he could so easily have faith and believe in anything he wanted God could do! To this day he can turn the worst of situations into a joke, he makes me laugh even if I don’t want to, I don’t know how he does it but it’s a wonderful gift.
I could write forever and I so badly want to about each memory that lives vividly inside of my mind. My cousins were just like more brothers and sisters to me then, we were always together. We played together, cried, laughed, got beat by our parents together, but most of all we prayed together; and that prayer was most powerful, and most effective. Now that we are all a little older I wished I would have cherished each moment just more so than I had. Just as the word “love” cannot fully be explained, the word “family” cannot be fully described either. As the youngest, it seems as if I am a mixture of each of my older siblings, no matter how much I want to be an “unique individual” I’ve watched them, observed the qualities that were most important and utilized what they taught me unknowingly.

The Perfect Song

Lord, if I could write You the perfect song
I would
I would string together chords of flawless notes
And sing aloud the purest of words without mistake
Lord how my heart does ache to love You doubtlessly
To strike the right piano key that will grab all of your attention
I yearn to be filled with your anointing,
To be full of a new kind of joy that even the wisest of men could not explain
I wish to refrain from idle thinking
And form for God a song that plays a beat no different from the rhythm of my heart
For I want to love You without distraction
Lord create for me the perfect song to play
One that calms spirits without delay
Help me to gather words that usually escape
Help me to reshape the love I've built for me to structure it for You
Lord write the perfect song and teach to me the words
Let it's melody play within my mind
Defining a love that I could never know without You
Lord I ache to love You doubtlessly
To sing the purest song void of mistake
God sing the only perfect love song that will never disappear.
It Will be created by You, a melody so sincere
Formed by a God whose love will always persevere.

by:Ja'Nise Washington

~!Breaking Down!~

Some women find nothing worse than driving a car that breaks down. They may spend their nights asking the Lord Jesus Christ to bless them with the newest Town and Country knowing good and well that God would have to work a miracle greater than Parting the Red Sea for that prayer to become reality. Yet I love and admire women with such great faith. Right now my vehicle is very unpredictable, one moment everything is fine. The next my car is jerking and shaking so badly it feels as if I'm riding in one of those old wooden roller coasters at Cedar Point. But breaking down for me isn't all that horrible. My last breakdown one would image to be the worst of them all. I was on I-75 heading over the bridge over to I-96. Every warning light in my car flashed like Christmas lights as I pushed my poor baby across all four lanes of I-96 cutting off a semi in the process. POP! I heard the engine give up as a cloud of black smoke polluted the air. At first I wanted to be angry especially since I had a final the next day. Now I was stuck on the freeway with no books so I couldn't even study. Secondly, I had to figure out how I'd get to school the next day to take the final!
But I dismissed my fears and began to comfort myself with a box of chewy candies. I opened my passenger side door and closed my eyes. I suddenly realized that sitting on the side of the freeway was much like being at the beach. I discovered that the sound on each car swooshing by was like the oceans waves crashing against rocks emitting a cool breeze that made whispers of my air fly up. Only this beach had no sand and had no water, about the only thing it had WAS rocks mixed with glass and other debris that the shoulder of I-96 held. I suddenly thought I totally rather break down on the freeway than on a street with merely two lanes. I have my reasons... one the freeway has 4 whole lanes if I break down in one of them traffic can still keep moving at regular speed in the other 3. The street doesn't permit such freedom nor space. Number two the street in no way resembles the beach . Do I enjoy breaking down? Not at all. But does it make me angry?? NOPE! My car suddenly stopping is the only spontaneous thing that happens in my life. It causes a rush of adrenaline not knowing if I'll make it to the side of the road in time or simply sit in the middle of I-96 waiting like a damsel in distress for my handsome prince to come and rescue me. (joke more like Deedee's AAA) I love my Ford Focus but I'm afraid it's just like everything else in my life inconsistent and unreliable.

by: Ja'Nise Washington

Nightmares vs. Reality *(contin. of living in the ghetto)

Last night it seems as if my life was a suspense movie waiting to unfold. Already I had a less than wonderful day. All I sought was rest and comfort in the silence of being home alone. I was granted no such thing, the day continually worsened as the sun gave way to the moon's existence and slowly faded out of sight. The monsters of the ghetto began to swarm out like vampires, unseen and unheard yet definitely real! I put on my pajama's and uttered a prayer that should have lasted longer but when I closed my eyes I'd drift off into the lightest sleep, my bed room lamp still burned bright because for some reason I did not feel at ease with the darkness. I was soon about to cut the light off and dismiss such ill begotten fears; to just sleep- when my phone rings. The bells chime and without looking at my caller ID I know it's my sister. She tells me that some guy tried to climb into a window located at the back of her house; luckily her tiny little dog Cola has the bark of a beast and the police happened to be in the neighborhood, they responded to the dogs cries and saw the villain. He escaped still and that only intensified my uncertainties seeing that my sister only lives about 5 minutes away from us. Every creek in my house caused me to question if I was truly alone. My sister and I hung up and despite being apprehensive I settled down in my bed and closed my eyes..... nearly 10 to 20 mintues later their is a loud banging at my door. BOOM BOOM BOOM. The knocks came rapidly one after the other! Instantly my body began to tremble gosh who could be here at such a late hour? I glanced out my front window to see one police officer sporting a bullet proof vest. I go open my front door and they say, " You called us do you still need our assistance?" Of course I had not called 911 and I thought oh Lord could this be some type of prophecy lol DO I need their assistance??
After I closed the door I was a bit shaken up. I enjoyed being home alone but now my "home" is just beginning to feel like a house sitting on land. It isn't a place where I feel safe, it's just a roof, doors and windows. All I can do is ask God to protect me (along with my brothers .38 caliber) lol jk Let his angels march around my house like it's "The Battle of Jericho" :) In my eyes I'm a tough cookie, yet yesterday I felt like a small frightened child. It wasn't until my sister came over, sleeping in the next room that I could finally close my eyes peacefully.
She was nearest to the door, whomever should come in would get her before me ... lol

~The night does nothing but safely hide the villains that camouflage themselves like chameleon's during the day!~
by:Ja'Nise Washington

Beware....Deadly Epidemic!

I am no master in the field of epidemiology but it looks to me as if every corner I turn, every person I happen to run into, my very own family memebers are either one getting married or two pregnant. I have no problem with these two things personally, I'm not jealous or envious in anyway, I'm just curious and find it coincidental how so many people fall in love at the same time. Is everyone really falling head over hills want to marry you now love or is it simply the "popular" thing to do? I have yet to find out the answer to such a queston, I'm not sure if one actually exist. LoVe is a word that is nowadays thrown around so easily, the need to get married has grown greater than the need to search for a job, greater than the need for husbands to figure out how they will support there wives (or vise versa in some cases). I also wonder whether the mad epidemic has anything to do with mere physical attraction moreso than actual "love." See in those romance movies like the famous "Sleepless in Seattle" or the very funny "Brown Sugar" only the good lovely dovey, lustful actions without consequence portion of so called love is shown. But when all the I do's have been said and done, and the picture has been taken and framed, real life as well as real problems begin. Now me, I'm subborn sometimes stuck in my ways thinking that oh if I shall ever have the privledge of falling in love an argument shall never arise between my husband and I. Yet I laugh in my head knowing all is untrue, and I weigh the importance of such a decision, of knowing its no longer just me, it is two hearts, two minds, united, tied together for eternity. This "love/pregnancy" disease symptoms include excessive crying (because of happiness if getting married b/c of weird hormones if pregnant), nightmares of everything that could go wrong during the wedding (which my sister has often), feeling full but still wanting to eat (pregnant), or finding yourself smiling for absolutely no reason at all!! If you are experiencing such symptoms I suggest you one see a doctor immediately and start looking for maternity clothing or two hope that your boyfriend is on the same level because you are so ready to get married..... join the crowd you have now to caught one of the two of these incurable, speading like a wildfire at Yellowstone Park epidemics.Congratulations~!

By : Ja'Nise Washington ~~ Right now I have no need to fall in love, I'd rather fall in a bowl of chocolate~~